Man, I hate to do this when you've been so effusive in your praise of my writing, but, um, that was ... pretty bad. It was kind of something that went nowhere. I mean, we all knew there was (probably) a monster under Timmy's bed, but was it like maybe an extension of him? Would it not have been better to send it to Billy's father's, kick the **** out of him, break his hold on the town, then remind the father who he was? The father, remembering blocked memories from his broken childhood, starts breaking down, Billy comes in, see his dad, is disgusted, but knows that with the breakdown of his father and the eventual news of this that will get around, his hold on the school is forever broken....
A little darker, a little less obvious? Maybe.
Sorry: wish I could be more supportive, but, well ... needs work. A lot of work.
