Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber soul
Well, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not a horror writer nor do I want to be. I do have a satire on a visit to Hell but that isn't especially dark either. I'm saving that one because I may try to get that published.
The short story is a rough draft so I wasn't expecting someone to scream classic. I did want the bully to be the antagonist. The father was added as more of a stream of consciousness thought really. I had to have a reason why Billy was getting away with his antics while no one did anything about it. Anyway, different styles for different folks, I guess.  |
Sure, but the story was so safe and predictable it could have been a Pixar movie.
Some suggestions:
1) The monster attacks Billy, he kicks the **** out of it, sends it back whimpering under Timmy's bed
2) The monster attacks Billy, who sics his OWN under-the-bed monster on it, so that Timmy's monster is now being bullied
3) The monster attacks Timmy's parents, for not standing up for him or believing him. That could go really dark
4) The monster attacks Timmy, for being such a wuss
Just some ideas.