Okay, not much to critique on Part III, but there are a couple nitpicks.
. “Pushed, we pushed back. Attacked, we responded in like kind. (drop like, responded in kind sounds better)
The Professor’s reply was simple. He smiled kindly and said, “Because, podling, we are not humans.”
(you need a break here so the reader knows you’re talking about two different scenes)
Seated in the back seat of the aircar, Trangor looked up from his plasma and said “Did you know, father, that there’s evidence that humans can write? Or, at least, that they could, once?”
“Trangor, I’ve told you not to be looking at those conspiracy websites (don’t encourage Merit XD),”
? A human of my own? I’d look after it real well, take it for walks and everything. You wouldn’t have to do anything, I promise.” (LOL)
So, basically, I'm seeing an idealistic kid and a conservative, but protective father. Anyway, I'll read part four later in the week (will be a bit busy Monday and Tuesday). I'm liking the story.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pet_Sounds
But looking for quality interaction on MB is like trying to stay hydrated by drinking salt water.
|
|