RoxyRollah

I o.d. on monday. I've struggled with opiate addiction for 15 years drugs in general for 20. Ive never ever o.d.ed. in my career as a druggie. My best friend that obviously isnt Goofle because he lives in the Uk and I live in Florida. But my bestie here in Florida found me on my back porch face down turning blue. Smoke still burning inbetween my fingers and Jeff Buckley blasting. Apprently there was a black snake next to me sunning himself as well.. I dunno I dont remember how I got there. I just remember getting smashed on purpose. But Ive not done heroin in a very very long time. I usually just do pain pills. I dip and dab over the years after 2 stints in rehab and jail. I have usually had a pretty good handle on it. But I kinda have been spirialing back down headed to where I was when I was younger when I was a bad ass addict. Idk. My personal life has been complicated the past few years. My work life has been **** the last year. And I wanted smack Monday. I also lost a gf sunday to an over dose I went to rehab with and did a year and a half there with here in 10. And I took that hard. Wanted to get ****ed up not join her you know. If my boy hadn't come to my house because I wasnt picking up the phone and I always PICK up. And then just walked in because my front door was wide open. Id not be here. So I marked as the day I died. I am not going to rehab again , I went and saw my doctor and he put me in the methadone program. And private conslor 2 times a week. Gave me a week off of work and Im being baby sat at 33 everday by my bestie until I go wed and get dosed. I was there Wed am this week however because Im a new client and had an active suicide attempt 2 weeks prior to the accidental over dose I had to get a waiver signed and jump through some hoops but because I have some connections with the rehab in my town which is why I still live here tbh. Incase something like this happened. I got past the waiver this morning and my first appointment. This coming wed. Im also being seen personally as a paitent by the one of the board members of the clinic because my ppl at my old rehab pulled strings. Thats the short version. I had to pick up a mess of pain pills before I get seen to hold me over. The withdrawls Ive been through 1000 times its not a big deal . But its just easier not to put my bestie n myself through it until Wed.

Edit: I forgot my neighbor who looked out for me in general and my house during Irma hung himself the same week my gf passed.Forgot about that.

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