Thanks everyone; you're all very sweet. I really do appreciate the gesture, TH <3 (though I really don't think I'm worth all of this fuss because I'm surely not the only one who has endured a great loss recently) hopefully it's not too gauche to post in my own card thingie. I really was planning on taking a break from all my usual internet haunts, but I'm plagued with the most terrible boredom and restlessness-- my family is very weird and private, they all prefer to mourn alone, so I've been cooped up here in my motel with just my laptop and some books/comics while I wait for the memorial service. Lots of time to kill. I was a total wreck a few days ago but I am functioning okay now (in part thanks to my excellent emotional compartmentalization+suppression abilities). Those few days in the hospital felt like an eternity. Anyway, I'm pretty much done publicly talking about death and my brother and whatnot for the time being and I'm well enough to waste time on the internet (I break down in the shower and at the grocery store like a
normal person) so no one needs to worry too much. I mean, I
am still a wreck, I lost a huge part of my life and it hasn't really sunken in yet-- but wallowing never helps me, and I can't put my life on hold right now if I'm going to move to North Carolina by this fall like I've been wanting. I need some illusion of normalcy.
Thanks again everyone for all the kind words, especially Kii with his nice card/letter idea. Everyone knows I'm a slut for snail mail. I don't want anyone to feel obligated to do anything like that though (after all, I mean, I haven't directly interacted with most of you since I mostly just make useless posts in the Lounge and plug) especially since I'm back here posting now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trollheart
Let's face it: everyone likes her,
|
This is an awfully ambitious statement.
(And TH, I thought of you now and then while in the hospital, as I know you've been a caretaker for a long time too-- much longer than me-- so I know if anyone could empathize it's you. And your sister is incredibly lucky to have you I'm sure.)