Bitterness
Every day feels the same
I’m waking up to put on a face
A face the world can tolerate
I practise words that I will say
When they ask if I’m okay
“I’m doing well. I can’t complain”
In my syntax, no trace of my pain
The pain,
I feel it, alive inside me
Like a cancer in my heart
And it spreads further with every beat
Tainting the sweetest memories
All that’s left to hold on to is a bitterness
The loneliness,
It feels like a puncture in my soul
A dull reminder of a time when I felt whole
And I search myself for that bliss
Even just a sliver of its existence,
But I find only its absence
Now I carry the despair that filled the void
I carry it on my own
And I all want to do is let it go.
I’ll take the poison and let it all go.
The black lie fills my veins and drowns my soul
Warmth licks my mind and melts my resistance
As the pain fades into the distance
I smile as I become numb
Wrap it around me
Guard me from my truth
Guard me from my own heart
Wrap the lie around me tight
I don’t want to feel anything tonight
And I know this might kill me...
But at least I’ll be numb
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