Bobby Flay is a vile goblin, truly. I want to fight him.
I also hate the fact that Rachael Ray-- a useless toad-- still somehow has a show. (And The Pioneer Woman. She has the screen presence of a potato.)
Anyway, I felt compelled to see if erotic Food Network fanfiction is a thing that exists, and shockingly there isn't really a whole lot out there (aside from stories that were obviously written as a joke,
like this one, which is admittedly entertaining)