SmokeAndMirrors

I was quite misanthropic at an early age. As I've gotten older, my patience has grown, but I'm quite a bit more disconnected and distant from when I was younger. I don't have the energy to be angry anymore, and more times often than not it's more trouble than it's worth so, I just adapt. I did 2 years of operations management and shipping and receiving management under a very verbally abusive employer out of 4 years of working with that guy. So, I can handle most things. It's actually been a very positive experience for me as an adult. I had to adjust and adapt, and that was quite difficult and took lots of time, it came with much pain and suffering, but it was worth it.


I do however, have a morbid sense of humor. I like a lot of humor, I just don't like comedy movies, and I'm picky about comedy television shows. But I'm all for sarcasm and ironic deadpan humor. Laughter is healthy for you.

A lot of people have told me that giving up is bad but honestly after I gave up and stopped trying to fight everything and control everything all the time, I began to be happier. Which was awkward. I didn't welcome the feeling at first because it felt so unnatural since it had just been that long, but I gave it some time and it's been a world of a difference to me.

I've considered going back to medication to treat my clinical depression, but I had several bad experiences with it when I was younger, the main problem being that it make it EXTREMELY difficult for me to write or be artistically expressive in any way. I also have memory problems from that time period, and so as an adult I've just pursued attempting to micromanage it myself along with other things in my life.

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"Like whispers in the dark..."