Urban Hat€monger ?

I`m thinking of sending this to Sunderland........

Dear Bob Murray

I am writing to apply for the vacancy of first team manager of Sunderland Football club.
My football experience involves sitting on my arse with a tub of pringles shouting at the television for John Motson to shut the f*ck up. Sadly I do not own any UEFA coaching badges however I do own a badge of the popular beat combo The Strokes that the nice girl at the record store gave me the last time I went shopping in there that I am sure would impress the bigwigs at UEFA.
My tactics would involve playing the 11-0-0 formation , my idea being that we would just load up the goal with 11 fat blokes thus not allowing the opposition to score.It wouldn`t be pretty but everybody knows you can`t play attractive football when relegation is involved.
Sadly I have no experience in the transfer market but as i`ll be buggering off once you go down I don`t really see that as a problem.The way I see it you may as well pay me 20 grand a week knowing full well you are going down than pay a real manager 30 grand a week for the same result.
I could easily win over the your fan base , rather than posing at the ground in front of the press with a Sunderland scarf I figured I could always go into the centre circle of the Stadium of Light with a Newcastle shirt and take a huge dump on it.I`m sure that would get the fans on my side.

All the best

Mr U Hatemonger

P.S. I was thinking of taking the players away to boost moral , I was thinking of going to Barbados for an inter team volleyball tournament. I hear Gary Breen is good at it.

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