Originally Posted by The Batlord

Well I lapsed, but I'm not really bothered by it tbh. Yesterday I had a **** day and just wanted a bit of oblivion and felt like I needed a drink like I needed my right hand, and when I didn't get any booze it sucked. But today was pretty alright as BK days go and I didn't feel like I needed a drink so much as I was looking forward to unwinding with a nice binge drink session.

Maybe alcoholism is just being sneaky but I think what I really want is just to not have some 1-day-on-1-day-off schedule that feels like a second job that's about making my **** life go away for a while. I don't feel like I've failed right now, I just feel like today is a good day all things considered and I'm getting a bit knackered to cap it off. I went two days longer without a drink than I almost ever do anymore so at least I know I can get over that hump of needing a drink right the **** now.

But the next time I've had a day I just feel the need to erase I think I'll just skip the booze and wait till I'm in a more level-headed place.