It has a nice flow, it kind of lacks, but theres no imagery, or anything its just kind of bland.
Quote:
So many nights I've spent there
High above the moon.
|
On this describe the nights and how you felt, and how cold or hot it was and what the moon looks like the bottom two are fine.
The Next verse is fine.
Quote:
I used to lay awake with
Tears filling my eyes.
Waiting for better days to
Come and change my life.
|
Describe the days a bit more, dreary, gloomy etc..
Quote:
Then one day I realized there's
Nothing I can change
If all I do is hide then
There's just fear and pain.
|
I just think thats somewhat of a weak way of ending it. Maybe you could add another part to wrap it up thats a bit more poetic?