The Batlord

Damn it's been almost a year since my last entry, but it's been worth the baited-breath wait cause I got all the mad phat jams to turn your bowels to jelly.

"Bump" is the track that inspired this entry. It's phat. Phat as hell. Bump this with a proper sound system with bass up to 11 and see if your domicile is still standing after four minutes and eleven seconds. Bet it's not.

Aside from the monstrous chorus the reason this song is on this list is Saint Dog's charmingly trash persona and mildly great storytelling ability. I'm kinda heartbroken that he has only two releases with the group (three if you count a compilation which you should) and one day I'll actually check out the rest of his tiny discography on his own and with some ****ty group called "DGAF". **** that name.

Oh yeah and that beat is oddly unique in a lowkey way that's ridiculously infectious.



OMG this is just the best ICP track and it's got none of the atmosphere that I'm always harping on that elevates the group beyond just being white trash goons with no redeeming values beyond some nice hooks and admirable gumption. Well that's all this has going for it beyond the best rap rock beat of all-time. You know what the problem is with most rap rock? They try to turn the guitar into this over-processed turd sound that's like the worst thing Meshuggah could ever contemplate, but this riff is nothing but razer-thin trebble that hits so much harder than nu metal bog standard nonsense. The thumping comes from the more standard hip hop beat underneath and the sheer bombastic brain slicing of the riff itself (it's just the one riff).

Then throw in Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope having the time of their lives rapping about murdering rednecks (ironic I know) and this is about as much fun as a human can medically tolerate.



Just ignore the cover. Seriously just forget it. Yes it does look like Slayer for bitch made wack losers who can't hang with Slayer. Yes that's what horrorcore is in the first place. But these dudes got some bangerz, boi, no matter how much I criticize them to Lucem when we're arguing over ICP v. Twiztid.

This album was their second with Psychopathic Records and the first where they put on face paint and started toeing the company line. But man does that result in 50/50 phatness/badness. Okay that's not a compliment but HOLY **** IS "WE DON'T DIE" THE ****ING JAM!!! It's got one of those over-produced rap rock beats but it very much works this time and Maddrox (named after an X-Men character ftr) and Monoxide Child know how do that "white rappers who have no versatility but listened to enough Metallica to make hype into hard" thing better than most anybody. This **** thumps, mufukka.



Exo will hopefully remember this and he's a ****ing jabroni for not givin' it up for this pop rap masterpiece and it's equally awesome album. Wizard of the Hood is a top Psychopathic Record record about J going to the land of Oz and getting really stoned while walking down the Yellow Brick Road with fellow Psychopathic rappers in the guise of characters from the movie all looking for homies to smoke with, a gun, bitches, and a way back to Detroit for J. Seriously.

But that's neither here nor there cause this song is a bonus track that's just J bragging about ICP's world beating status around the turn of the century. It has the same uplifting and positive vibe as that album so it's a product of its time. It's also a hell of a banger that's fairly laid back until it ramps up to the triumphant chorus that feels like the last song that ever needs to be recorded whether the human race is reveling in its accomplishments or defiantly declaring its worth in the face of an uncaring and hostile universe. That's exactly what this is for Violent J and he rises to the occasion to the max and I'll always love this track and feel better about everything after listening to it.



Dark Lotus are a Psychopathic supergroup made up of ICP, Twiztid, Blaze Ya Dead Homie (yeah I know), and for the first album some guy called Marz. They were clearly capitalizing on the early 00's juggalo peak period and have the same moderate polish and lack of previous edge, but they still managed the odd true banger. This is one of those few and it's pretty laid back but catchy as **** with a chorus to die for.

Its other redeeming quality is that at times Psychopathic could actually deliver on the heartwarming "family" schtick that they like to peddle and this track is the height of this trope that actually kinda makes me wish I could connect to the concept more fully. Regardless this track is bombs on your moms.



As far as straight up ****in' bangerz this is hands down ICP's most hype. The group hasn't had much to recommend them in their post-mid 00's period but this is one of the songs to give me the impression that they might still have enough life in them to record one true classic before bowing out on a high note.

The album this comes from was the one that got me into the group and when I could finally rap this word for word for word in my buddy's car on a two-hour trip to see ICP for the second time on their Bang! Pow! Boom! tour was one of my favorites as a juggalo associate. It's the same tempo and flow for both J and Shaggy for the entire track but it has so much ridiculous energy and is so fun to quote that it's actually the main selling point and hell to the yeah, bang to the pow, wang to the mouth, you ****s.



Blaze kinda sucks tbh even by my standards. He's got some nice jams but he's far better as a feature rapper with that fun, bombastic voice with no real versatility or substance. But this track has energy enough for three tracks and a highly decent rap rock beat that's perfect for throwing on at a party for cringy rejects you don't actually want to party with. Too bad the album this comes from is so hit-or-miss and the rest of his discography is even worse. I'll always carry water for this phat track though.



About as dark a white trash banger as has ever existed for whatever that's worth but that modified g-funk beat is the most fun that hits hard to destroy your sound system sort of like. The album this is from, W.I.C.K.E.D. (sigh), is also one of Psychopathic's best by far so you don't even have to burn the rest of the tracks after checking this one out. And that chorus is fracking sweet: "MO blood, MO death, LESS peace in the streets! What they scream as they hover over me in my dreams!"



Rehab's Graffiti the World is one of those albums that got played into the ground when I was still hangin' with my juggalo buds to the point that when it started I just knew every song and every word. It's totally fun and ****ty and awesome and you should all listen to it. It's even the most absolutely white trash thing on this list cause these guys are legit rednecks with accents and country influences and have no association whatsoever with horrorcore. I even saw these guys live and remember nothing about the show cause I was vastly ****ed up but I'm pretty sure it was insanely fun.

This track is also the most white trash cause it's explicitly white trash. It's about a guy who's "at a bar on the inside, waiting for my ride on the outside" (the ride being the police) because his trailer park girlfriend who was "high on some pills" "threw my **** out into the yard" and so he "jacked the keys to her ****ing car", "crashed that piece of ****", "and then stepped away". And now he's getting wasted. I mean I'd do the same tbh.

Just a laid back country(ish) rap song that's hella fun and great to drink and get high to and it makes the list cause of course it does. Reminds me of my buddy's porch and PBR and having three cigarettes going at the same time cause I'm too ****ed up to remember that I'd lit one two minutes ago and holy **** I need a smoke that badly that quickly.



To close out this greatness we end on the group we started on. They got a lot of rap rock **** but The Green Album was almost entirely pure, dense, hip hop production designed to **** up your car's sound system. It's a great album but this song stands out as the ultimate banger that gets just about as much play as any song from a Ke$ha album. It goes hard and it's about smoking the best weed and that's really all there is to say about it. Go listen to The Green Album in your car while irresponsibly smoking a blunt on the highway and you'll understand why this deserves to end this post.

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