Goodbye Serotonin

I've been waitin on the fall down
I think the life with in me is gone now
this devil with in me starts to crawl out
scaring away my own crowd beware of the dark cloud
and nobody cares if where my head is
they all say I do it for attention
I'm feeling helpless lost in depression
i feel so alone in this mess wondering if I should end it
ghosts on my brain that grow on my anguish
pull on my ankles as the cold water raises
below all it sank at hopes bottom fainted
no one wants to save him from this post trauma hatred
and I'm feeling a little less human
my thoughts are grewsome my insides are putrid
the hell I've been threw is the only thing lucid
I idolize school shooters understanding why they do it

I ain't feelin very well
in this pit of melencholy where I fell
and I might kill myself
before this bipolar devil crawls out of my hell

goodbye serotonin hello to the hopless
lost hold of my soul bipolar devils now control it
post trauma disorders pull on my emotions
and I am alone in this hell that I am thrown in
I cannot escape the anger that I'm made in
I cannot erase the pain that I'm stained with
I cannot change the place I was raised in
now all that remains is this mangle mess of hatred
I will not fight this virus that grows inside
I will either die or become violence that I hide
suicidal mind set I don't value life
I don't wanna try to survive another night
sickness in my head a clinical depressin
obsession with my death I don't get no intervention
I just need to exit an end to this descension
mental health is restless with these devils in my presence

I ain't feelin very well
in this pit of melencholy where I fell
and I might kill myself
before this bipolar devil crawls out of my hell

It'll be okay, they say it'll be okay
one day I'll see a change that this evil goes away
one day I'll clear the place where the demons usually stay
and I'll erase the pain that was sinking in my brain
and I will be set free from the chains that opressed me
from post trauma stressing disorders that infect me
from all that depressed me I'm no longer empty
the loneliness is ending in the rest that only death brings
don't you ****in worry I'll be there in a hurry
the nightmare slowly turns me into everything that cursed me
the same hell that burns me is the vengence I'm dispersing
everything that ever hurt me will now be returning
in an act of vencence I am the reaper who will send it
a bullet for the sentence my thoughts growing demented
I am the devil to despense the the death I'm obsessed with
hold it to the head and let this bullet finally end it

I ain't feelin very well
in this pit of melencholy where I fell
and I might kill myself
before this bipolar devil crawls out of my hell

Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.