I was the same way. Like, I did all my work at school, got perfect grades until they introduced the concept of homework to me. I got home and didn't want to do some boring ass bull**** that I already did all day. I wanted to escape and play games and draw and ****. Explore my imagination. That's how I am now. I work my ass off at work and I don't wanna do **** when I get home. I notice that when I force myself to get up and do more I'm usually a bit happier. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, I always return to hopeless laziness in the end. I don't know if I'm doomed to be this way. I just know that I don't exactly know how to change.
Either way, it reminds me of a lot of my friends who suffer from the same severe depression. How they molded their identity around their depression. I think that they dwell in it and feed off of their own sadness because with out it they don't know who they are. Maybe that's me too.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.
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Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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