One of my local hospitals has a service where you can go online and fill out a card for free, and they will send it to a patient.
I abuse this service when I have friends or family in the hospital, usually writing obnoxious, random things. Then I put that they were authored by Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Mark Twain or some sh!t like that. It always brightens their day.
I'm not sure just how automated the service is, so I don't know how explicit or cheeky I can be, but I've never had one fail to go through.
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