URGENT: Do you resemble Ruth Bader Ginsberg? Are you free January 29th?

Hello and thank you for your interest!

We have an immediate and URGENT need for someone who resembles the Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg (pictured above, in life, on right). No need for a robe, we will supply. Must have ability to stay awake for approximately 2 hours.

We are trying to delay an important meeting in which she is scheduled to appear but it seems as though we are utterly powerless to postpone this meeting due to an uncontrollable and unmoving orange force whose name we shall not speak of. This meeting is scheduled for January 29th. We will do everything possible to change the date but it is possible our best is just not good enough.

Name your price for the appearance. We have plenty of Soros cash for you. Please email us ASAP.