Went to the grocery store after work:
Cashier: You gonna eat this chicken for lunch or give it to me?
Me: You can have a piece, bro, but your fingers will get greasy.
C: What came first the chicken or the egg?
M: The Egg. The chicken evolved from something else that was also hatched in an egg.
C: How did that happen?
M: Radiation from the sun mutated the DNA.
Incredibly Cute Bagger Girl: It took a million years.
C: So if I stand in the sun will I turn into a mermaid?
M: No, you’re already a species. Nobody knows what your DNA is going to do but there’s probably not enough time left before the end of the universe for that to happen.
Fast forward to gas station:
Black Guy 1: It’s a beautiful day! Praise Jesus!
Black Guy 2: I don’t believe in Jesus.
Uncomfortable silence...
Black Guy 2: What? Do you think I’m going to get struck by lightning?
M: Stand your ground dude. Stand your ground.
Black Guy 2: Yeah!
Listened to This Nation’s Saving Grace, Nashville Skyline, and The Other Side of Abbey Road at work today. Three great records.
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