I’ve tried really hard but it’s followed me around pretty damn closely for over a decade now. I remember seeing something “it can last for weeks” sigh
In 2005 I think I had a great year professionally. I had a special ed caseload that was almost flawless - I mean every kid under my supervision was doing great. My last class of the day was just kids in my caseload and it was supposed to supplement their math like an extra math class basically but they all had emotional needs. It was 50 minutes and I used like 25 as like a bonding time. A rap session - what happened today? Let’s take some quiet time to let our heads have some peace - but when the class got observed by admin I got creamed. I didn’t think it would matter because my caseload did so well. Only two suspension days and no failed classes and adequate yearly progress on the standardized tests. For special ed kids to do that well it’s like an MLB player batting .350. But the school still ****ing let me go. Another school picked me up but the new conditions were horrible. I still feel like getting let go like that did my ****ing head in. Lots of other things happened but that’s when I became irreparably bitter. I know that millions of people experience things far more unfair everyday but still for me that was a ****ing tipping point. I was so angry. I never managed to get unangry after that. Even when I fought back and got tenure I was still hateful about it.
That year I was going to the gym before work. I was healthy. I ate a healthy diet. After that I never got my mojo back.
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