From what you've laid out here, WWWP, I'd definitely say "Listen to Marie, OH and your mum."
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Originally Posted by WWWP
... and I'm not afraid of him anymore. I'm so curious about what he has to say.
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Originally Posted by WWWP
Right but so then I have to pretend it's all cool and she grows up thinking he's chill?
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^ To me, these motives aren't sufficient to go against OH's common sense observation:-
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Originally Posted by OccultHawk
Once you take out the garbage it doesn’t make sense to bring it back in.
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As for your niece "growing up to think he's chill", I'd try not to worry too much. Furthur down the line she'll prob pick up on the fact that he did something to p off you and your mum - and in 15 years she quite possibly won't give a damn about some alienating oldtimer anyway. It sounds like the more he is NOT invited the better, and I imagine that for you too, moving on beyond the past will lead you to a better place.