Bat is right about the inspiration. Don't wait for it, that's useless, just start doing things even if they're bad to get the gears working and then inspiration will start to flow. And **** your bandmate, you don't need him to make music. Chop up your list of things to do into manageable pieces and go for it
I feel your comments about social anxiety; now that I'm single I'm trying to be a slut but my anxiety won't let me lol. My only hope is my super suave French friend who is trying to be my wingman