Quote:
But times have changed beyond meaning,
Seeing is believing as days disappear
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I really love this kind of quasi-rhyming (meaning-believing). Of the whole song, this bit stood out the most to me. I imagine the words would roll very easily off the tongue. Reminds me a little of Nirvana lyrics, for violating hard and fast rhyming schemes and defying expectations in that way.
Quote:
Louder and louder the sound grows,
The sound we will hear forever more.
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This bit, there's nothing technically wrong with it, but it seems a little like dead space in the song, which makes the versa a little meaning-sparse. I want to find out more about the symbolism of the mice under the floorboards and maybe something could be added to shed some light, or add dimension to the previous imagery. Just a suggestion anyhow. It seems to be a really nice direction for a verse though.