Quote:
Originally Posted by WWWP
Yeah but the point of moving away from/abolishing the gender binary is acknowledging that gender identity is internal and not reflective of outward appearance. You could look at someone and assume they are genderqueer or gendernonconforming, or masculine of center, etc. etc. based on the way they present, but you can't look at someone and tell they're trans, because it's so much deeper than appearance. Trying to guess at someone's "real" gender vs what they're trying to pass as perpetuates "passing" culture which only reinforces the harm that comes from adhering to the binary.
I'm not making this up out of nowhere. Maybe it's a regional thing, but here (and on the internet?) it is considered not only pointless but harmful to guess at peoples' identities. Because when you look at a person and decide you "can tell" or go on to deem them trans, you're guessing at 1) how they identify internally, 2) what genitalia they possess and 3) what gender they were assigned at birth. Surely you can see why those things are weird and creepy to do, and why it's no one's business but their own.
Thinking you are able to "tell" whether or not people are trans before they come out is just weird and creepy arrogance. Do you see where I'm coming from?
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Of course I see what you mean, I know and I agree. I've found out the truth of what you're saying long ago, the hard way.
I know it's mostly on me for phrasing things clumsily, but you have to take the 'I can tell' way less strongly than I think you do. I generally don't go around guessing these things about people, I never wondered whether Elliot Page might be trans, but when I hear such things often in hindsight it makes sense and I realise I had a subconscious feeling. In my personal case, it means picking up that someone seems to be struggling with something similar to me.
Also, sometimes the guessing is not entirely pointless for that reason. It can be about trying to find people who relate to your struggles.