about the first question: it depends on what your taste is. I don't know enough about that to give you a precise rec, so I'll list some classics (Ignoring riot grrrl because I guess that's not to your taste, even though I recommend you listen to it):
- the raincoats are one of the greatest female punk bands. They made their own non-aggressive kind of punk music which had a magical beauty. Their most famous song is their cover of the Kinks' Lola, which I think is the best introduction for you
- Another very famous one is the Slits, who also had a very unique sound which was more than typical punk aggression
- Third classic: X-ray spex. One of the greatest voices in punk and an awesome saxophone. Of everything on this list I think you might like this one best
- of course it all started with Patti Smith, the godmother of female punk:
- Kleenex/Liliput, from Switzerland:
- the amazing Girls at our Best:
- the Bags, which is also one of the better bets for you I think:
- and of course Sleater-Kinney, who started out making feminist punk, but this song is basically from a break-up album: