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Do they have to be real?

Liam Gallagher, the Oasis frontman died last night following a fracas outside a Manchester pub.
Gallagher died on his way to hospital from 2 gunshot wounds to the legs.
A spokesman for Manchester Royal Infirmary stated, "Mr.Gallagher died from loss of blood from two bullet wounds, one of which severed a main artery and despite desperate attempts by the paramedics, they were unable to save him".

A witness at the scene described the events leading up to his death.

"Yeah, Gallagher and his brother came swanning into our pub acting like they owned the fuckin' place. He was to busy flashing the cash about and comin' over all big time. As they were leaving someone shouted, hey Liam! Your a fuckin' pan-head!"
"That's when it all kicked off and next thing, outside like, there were two gunshots and Liam was lying there on the ground. Blood everywhere, it was horrid".

Local residents say it may have been an attempt at a kneecapping to teach him a lesson.

Noel denies rumours that he was kicking Liam as he was waiting for the ambulance. A spokesman for Oasis refused to comment.