Trollheart

Was it a glass one?
I'd keep ya company, you rose. (See below)


This week's theme is Do you walk on the wild side?

I have no idea where the wild side is, how to get there, and if I ever did they would more than likely run me out as an interloper from Boringtown.


1. What's the craziest/most dangerous thing you've ever done?


You know who you're talking to, right? This is me.

Well...

I've hardly ever done anything crazy or dangerous - oh wait. There was the time when I was lowering my sister's orthopaedic bed and somehow it got caught on her wooden tray, which had been left beneath it. Kind of standing up. It was one of those that slot into the bed so it stays secure, like a small plank of wood. Anyway it caught the bed as it came down and jammed it, and I could neither raise nor lower the bed, and had to get the tray out somehow. Given that it had more or less come further down than it could go, as it were, it was now like ready to snap down as soon as the obstruction was released.

So my great idea was to kick the tray quickly out from under the bed where it was jammed. Somehow I thought I could retract my leg quicker than the bed would fall. I didn't do it, but if I had I believe I would have lost my leg, as it would have been akin to sliding my leg under a descending guillotine blade. when I thought about how ****ing stupid I had been, how I would have either died of shock and blood loss and how Karen could not have called an ambulance (not that I wouldn't have bled out before one could arrive) it scared the **** out of me.

So I guess that was crazy. And dangerous.

2. What crazy thing would you never contemplate doing?


Almost everything. I'm not someone who goes in search of thrills.

3. What's the longest you ever went without sleep, why and how did you feel after it? No that's not three questions, it's one question with three parts.

Maybe a day, between overnights at hospitals and two separate all-night radio shows when I was younger. In the former case, cold, sick and disoriented, in the latter, strangely euphoric. In general I find it hard to stay up beyond maybe 6am. I usually go to bed at 4, but then I don't get up till 11:30.

4. What is the hottest thing you have ever eaten?

I don't eat hot stuff. Maybe a stew I microwaved too long and it burned my tongue. I know: is this guy a wild man or what?

5. How far would you/do you go to be the life of the party?

I have always had an abiding hatred of parties. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs, I dance terribly and I was always painfully shy, and people sense this and rather than accept it, they make you the butt of jokes. So if I had - absolutely had - to go to one, this would be me.


6. Ever had a run-in with Larry Law? If so, how bad was it?

No I'm a law-abiding citizen with very good alibis. And I pay off the local cops. Not really. Or...?

@ Rostasi: that's absolutely terrible. I'm so sorry about your girlfriend. That must have been harrowing. Why did the cops ram your car? Did they think you were black? Wearing those mirror shades, probably everyone looks black to them.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018