1. Do you prefer to go on a bracing hike or sit in front of the telly/computer?
The only way you'll get me to go on a hike is at gunpoint. And even then...
2. What's your favourite font? (Yes I know I'm getting desperate)
Arial. I just love it. Almost every word processor defaults to Times New Roman but when writing I always change it to Arial. Such an elegant font. No contest.
3. What was your favourite stuffed animal when you were a child?
I really can't remember having one, though I probably did. I remember Karen's though, and one of her (and my) favourites was a blue and white teddy called Peter Bear. I literally robbed him from some kid. Well, he was in a pram outside a house in the rain and I half-inched him thinking "Karen would love him!" Yeah, I wasn't always a goody two-shoes.
Later the dog got him, and that was a traumatic time for us as we watched him literally shake the stuffing out of Peter, his teeth in his throat. Karen was so upset that we used to make phone calls to her on a toy phone, pretending it was Peter calling from the local dump. Yeah I know but she loved it.
Now she has even more toys than ever, and her favourite is Millie the cat, who has been given her own life and backstory. Hey, say what you will, but you try being stuck in bed ALL YOUR REMAINING LIFE and you'll do anything to be entertained. All she has to look forward to is watching the telly and me reading to her, so no, I'm not embarrassed. I once put on a version of
Jesus Christ Superstar with all her animals in the roles (I think Kermit the Frog played Jesus) and Millie starred in my rewrite for her of Dickens's
A Christmas Carol.
Now Millie is the host of her own TV show, where I put together all her favourite progammes on a disc and make sure she always has something to watch. Yeah yeah, stick your ridicule. This takes time and effort. Up yours.
4. If you could rid the world of one species, what would it be and why?
God-damn bluebottles! I mean, what is the point of them? Wouldn't the world be better off without them? Ruining summer, gah I hate them so much. So yeah, bluebottles.
5. What was the first radio station you listened to?
Radio Luxembourg. It was the first real time I heard proper rock music. Used to listen to it in bed at night and I heard so many of my later favourite artists on there. Fond memories.
6. Spiders: kill, ignore or release?
I don't mind spiders, so I generally tend to try to capture and release them, but if that's not possible I'll ignore them if they're not too big, or else if pushed I will splat them, though I prefer not to. Mind you, I still have nightmares - Batty! - about one I DEFINITELY saw running across the floor in Karen's bedroom what was literally as big as a small cat. Jesus wept, that scared the **** out of me. It just vanished though.