Music Banter - View Single Post - A song im starting to write
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Old 12-06-2021, 11:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
Mucha na Dziko
Go ahead, Mr. Wendal
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Join Date: May 2021
Location: Mostly Warsaw, Poland
Posts: 579

it's pretty nice

Especially the second part - it gets less cliche and more like an actual song.

Also, midway through you have a nice rhythm in the words. What I mean by that is that the beginning is a bit sloppy ryhtmically, but around the phrase "But then I met you" you sort it out, and I even began bouncing my head while reading

I think you should consider choosing between the talking directly at him and talking about him
Originally Posted by Marie Monday View Post
This thread reads like the synopsis of a tv series, in a good way
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