I'm not sure it's absolutely necessary to have a loving relationship with your parents. I don't think I have much love for my father. I grew up fearing him and then left home to study and eventually work abroad. The rest of my family managed to somehow repair their relationships with him by being close to him in his old age when he mellowed out quite a bit and became a pitiful invalid. I skipped this step but feel I don't need to go through some kind of catharsis with him. I understand he did the best he could with what he was dealt with (his temper wasn't a choice), but I also can't pretend he was a great parent and somehow invent feelings that aren't there. He is someone that is in my life and he's ok now as an old man but looking at it objectively, I don't have a fraction of sentiment towards him as compared with my mother. And I feel that's ok. I don't have much rancor anymore and if he died tomorrow I don't think I would have any regrets. Maybe a psychologist would feel otherwise. :/
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“Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle.
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