The Batlord

1. Where were you when JFK was shot?

[redacted]

2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?

Cold water but also malt liquor.

3. What's your eyesight like?

It's a pretty unique sense but I guess it's most like hearing.

4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?

I go mostly on vibes. If you seem cool I'm pretty trusting but if you seem off I will hyper fixate on your bull**** like you're perpetually on trial.

5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?

Bernie just so he can get the gay vote.

6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?

Kursk. Sounds like a bad time but I ****ing love tanks and watching T-34s and KVs show Nazis their tanks are overrated would own. Soviet tanks deserve so much love.

Or maybe Caesar in his prime. Don't know enough to know which battle to pick though. I just want to see Roman legions in action tbh. Or maybe when Rome beat Macedon cause I'd love to see the Roman legion go up against the Macedonian phalanx. I mean both formations are so similar but so different and both were the super weapons of the ancient world. I want to see what actually happened when they met on the field.

I mean the legions conquered Macedon and the rest of the known world but the Macedonian phalanx could have just poked them to death with really long sticks so how did the guys with short swords win?

I mean I know the legion was more flexible than the phalanx as far as ground it could fight on but Jesus Christ the idea of charging into a Macedonian phalanx, a ****ing porcupine of death, is unthinkable. How professional a soldier do you need to be to look at your rinkidink sword and a wall of spears longer than two tall men and think "Yeah I'll have a piece of that"?

And now, some nonsense questions again:

1. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

I took up falconry.

2. When will there be a harvest for the world?

WHEN THE PROLETARIAT SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION AND SHAKE OFF THEIR CHAINS!

3. Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?

The lepers in my head would would rickroll Jesus.

4. Why can't I get no Tang?

You didn't protect ya neck.

5. How can I protect you in this crazy world?

Send guns.

6. What do you want from me?

Bullets.

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