Sounds like a good thread to resurrect one of my favourite sections!
Ah, Eurovision! Was there ever a more pointless competition (other than the X-Factor, of course!)? Every nation fights to compete, even holding trials within each country themselves to select the song to go forth and represent them, and whoever wins has the dubious honour of hosting the next year's contest. No prize, no real fame to speak of, no recording contract. Most Eurovision winners, let alone entrants, fade very quickly into the mists of musical history, although of course there have been a few notable exceptions, who have gone on to carve out a successful musical career on the back of their Eurovision victory. They are, though, very much in the minority.
I think the best comment on Eurovision was in the
Father Ted episode “A Song for Europe”, where Ted's arch-enemy, Fr. Dick Byrne, is flabberghasted to find that his much superior entry has lost out to Ted's awful, one-note-one-chord “My Lovely Horse”, and when he suggests the contest is obviously a fix, he is asked why would the organisers allow a far inferior song to go forward and represent Ireland? He rather haltingly suggests that maybe Ireland, having won the last two times, can't afford to host it again and so wants to send such a dire entry forward that they will have no chance of winning!
Okay, it's comedy, but there's a kernel of possible truth in there. For most countries, hosting the Eurovision is more trouble than it's worth. It's a huge headache, logistically, politically and most of all financially, and there are few if any rewards, apart from the “prestige” of staging the event. Sure, it's good for the tourist industry of the country in question, but it's not like the European Championships or the World Cup, where the hosting country has the sudden influx of thousands upon thousands of fans from every country, bringing all their lovely disposable income with them! No-one travels to the Eurovision; everyone watches it on telly at home. So where's the point?
This is a question, of course, debated by men and women much more learned than I, and I will not attempt to unravel the mystery in these pages. Rather, this section is being opened to highlight some of the truly awful songs that featured in previous Eurovisions. Some were even winners! And just in case anyone thinks I'm bashing any particular country, my own little island will not escape my scathing satire, you may be sure of that. We have had some woeful entries, and the harsh spotlight of scorn will be shone with its fullest intensity on those, mark my words!
But to start this section off, here's a good one from all the way back in 1974. Don't ask me how it did, but I somehow doubt it won. Paulo de Carvalho (never heard of him? Not surprised...) singing Portugal's entry, “E depois de adeus”, which apparently means “and after goodbye”. Perhaps he should have stuck in a comma before “goodbye”...! Hey, let's be honest: I don't know the guy. Maybe he was big in Portugal, who knows? But this song is typical of the kind of sub-cabaret tripe they used to trot out every year for this contest, though in fairness, they haven't got much better these days. Enjoy!
1974 --- Portugal --- “E depois de adeus” by Paulo de Carvalho