We drive southwards, for in this land of the elder Boybands there are only two regions which house the history and music of the first two known Boybands, and so it is to N'kotbia we drive, the cabby engaging in rambling chit-chat which I do my best to ignore. My head is swimming with close harmonies and digital piano chords, and the word “baby” running around like a beheaded chicken, and the repeated listens to New Edition's catalogue have not helped my stomach to settle after the rather choppy journey to this strange land. Oh well, on we go.
The first thing I notice on arriving in the main city is that this is a far cleaner place than Editionia Nueva: it's more upscale, scenic and prettier than the place I have just left. Is this because it is a middle-class white neighbourhood? Possibly, but whatever the reason I'll be glad not to have to wade through trash on the streets of this town! And maybe I can get a hotel where I can sleep through the night without being eaten alive. Hope springs eternal, but as we pass rows of white picket-fenced houses and well-maintained buildings, with smart top-of-the-line cars outside each house, the place screams “Suburbia!”
I pay off the cabby, find my hotel - which is a lot nicer than the one I've just left - and settle in before beginning my gruelling second day's work.
Formed, as I already mentioned, by the same man who “made” New Edition, and marketed as “the white New Edition”, New Kids on the Block (NKOTB) also came from Boston, and consisted of founder member Donnie Wahlberg, brother of actor Mark and indeed an actor himself later, who, having won an audition with Starr out of hundreds of teenage boys all looking for instant stardom, helped Starr put the rest of the band together. First he recruited his brother, but Mark left before the band began playing or recording. The final lineup ended thus:
Donnie Wahlberg
Jordan Knight
Jonathan Knight
Joey McIntyre
Danny Wood
There were some other changes along the way initially, but this is the known lineup of NKOTB, although originally they weren't called that. The label demanded a change from the name Starr had given them, Nynuk, and so they changed to New Kids on the Block, or NKOTB. As with New Edition previously, Starr maintained an iron grip on his new moneymaking machine, writing the lion's share of the songs on their debut self-titled album, and producing it as well as playing most of the instruments. Success, however, would not be repeated right away, and the album did very poorly, with the result that Starr had to struggle to find the boys gigs, unlike New Edition, who had embarked on a big tour when their own debut smashed the charts.
New Kids on the Block --- New Kids on the Block --- 1984 (Columbia)
Desperate to emulate the original success of his former protoges, Starr made the crucial mistake of trying to make NKOTB
be New Edition, writing them bubblegum pop songs and worse, giving them raps to perform. New Edition, as we have seen, although successful with their debut, built their lasting fame and appeal on subsequent records, which were more mature and less kiddish. Starr's gamble didn't pay off, and here's why.
As an album, and indeed career, opener, “Stop it Girl” is weak, sugary, throwaway. If you're going to “unleash” the next Boyband on the world - shame on you, but if you're going to - you have to grab people's attention from the off, as with any album, and this song does not come close to doing that. It's faceless, generic tripe, with that damn vocoder again! “Didn't I (Blow Your Mind)” is the first ballad on the album, a lot better. Hold on: should that not be “Did't You Blow My -” uh, no? All right then, forget I spoke. Oh, you have. I see. Well, not surprisingly, it's an old seventies cover. As a matter of fact, though this album largely left the charts unshaken, it would be this track which, when re-released after their second album hit the big time, would reignite interest in this album. It's quite a nice little ballad, with nice piano and nice guitar. Just nice, period, as the Cat from
Red Dwarf once said. Of course, it would be emulated and copied by Boybands down through the years, and become the template for every hit single from Westlife to Nsync and Blue to JLS.
“Popsicle” sounds as you would expect, simple bubblegum pop in the style of early New Edition, with another annoying rap, while “Be My Girl” is another ballad, nothing special, another generic slow pop song, but it does showcase some of the voices rather well. There's still not, though, to borrow a phrase from our transatlantic cousins, a whole lot going on under the hood.
The title track attempts to address this, doing its best to stamp the album with the identity of these new successors to the first Boyband. It's basically a rap with little in the way of music, just percussion and some “scratching”, is it they call it? That thing where they run a record backwards over and over? Never really got that personally, not even when Run DMC did it... and though next track “Are You Down” tries to change the format and kick it up a notch, it's too jarring a change, with heavy drums, deep throaty keyboards and a rap. I guess it piques the interest, but you're left wondering where this band really fit in, what they're about?
“I Wanna Be Loved By You” is a soul-style ballad, where each of the band “introduce” themselves -
”I'm Danny, and I'm a Taurus...” Yeah, nice chat-up lines, guys. Original. It's an exceptionally self-indulgent song, even for a Boyband, and I officially hate it. Just so you know. Marillyn Monroe must be turning in her grave. Typical Starr crap. David Soul might also raise a not-at-all-amused eyebrow at “Don't Give Up on Me” (a plea from Starr to potential fans, perhaps?) which does at least ramp up the power a little more, with bright keys and pulsing bass, nice percussion and an almost rock melody, until closer “Treat Me Right” actually bops and rocks along quite nicely with a really not too bad ender, with elements of swing and doo-wop, as well as gospel and a little blues. Nice.
It's certainly not an album that was ever going to shake the world to its foundations, and were it not for the success of the followup, that may have been the last we ever heard of New Kids on the Block. Unfortunately for me, fate had other ideas...
TRACK LISTING
1. Stop it Girl
2. Didn't I (Blow Your Mind)
3. Popsicle
4. Angel
5. Be My Girl
6. New Kids on the Block
7. Are You Down?
8. I Wanna Be Loved By You
9. Don't Give Up on Me
10. Treat Me Right
Disappointed with sales of the debut album, and the Kids' reception by the public in general, Starr herded them back into the studio for over a year until they produced their second effort, 1989's
Hangin' Tough. Like New Edition before them, the guys decided they hated the bubblegum, “safe” approach of the debut and demanded more input into the new album, as well as their look. However, though three of them received credits as “associate producers”, Starr maintained his iron grip on the songwriting, but this time he in fact cracked it, and after initially looking like the new album would bomb just like the first, and NKOTB would be dropped by Columbia, sudden increased airplay and then interest from MTV saved them, and the album eventually went to number one, making the Kids, within a few short years, one of the hottest properties in the US music scene.
Hangin' Tough --- New Kids on the Block --- 1988 (Columbia)
The album opens with a very Paula Abdul-type dance song, “You Got it (The Right Stuff)” is typical of the sort of thing that would emanate from bands of this nature for the next ten years or more, until they all seem to blend together into one song, indistinguishable one from the other. That's how I see it, anyway. This, and the three tracks which follow it, were all released as singles and broke the charts wide apart. “Please Don't Go Girl” is another soul ballad with the soon-to-be familiar spoken intro, clicky drum machine beats and electric piano. The quality of the vocal harmonies is deserving of praise, indeed, but then again, since none of them play any instrument or write the songs, they had bloody better know how to sing together! Again, that's my take on it.
More swirly synth and digital piano introduces another ballad, one of their bigger hit singles, “I'll Be Loving You (Forever)”, which made it all the way to the number one spot. “Cover Girl” is actually a huge surprise, with its screaming, soaraway guitar intro, and its Springsteen/Dire Straits-like piano. Another big hit, it reached number 2, and although it sort of slides into generic pop after the promising opening, it's still my favourite on the album due entirely to its unexpectedness (is that a word?).
“I Need You” is another ballad, as the poor digital piano gets another workout, and then the title track throws down the gauntlet, creating yet another smash hit for NKOTB, and another number one. Almost reminiscent of Joan Jett's “I Love Rock and Roll”, it's again something of a surprise, and not a totally bad track really. Then “I Remember When” takes us back into the sugary realms of Boyband ballads (this makes the fourth ballad so far), with a certain seventies soul feel to it, before “Whatcha Gonna Do About it” transports us to the world of Janet Jackson, with a very hard-edged dance number, more of those stabbing synths and
glissando keyboard runs.
Starr relaxes his death-grip on the songwriting - or perhaps the boys manage to pry his fingers loose for a moment! - to allow Wahlberg, Wood and Jordan Knight to contribute to the writing of “My Favourite Girl”, but to be honest they needn't have bothered, as it's nothing special and doesn't stand out as any different to the rest of the tracks. Closer “Hold on” starts out with some nice slap bass and possibly acoustic guitar before it falls back into yet another generic pop/dance track, although there is some pretty rocky guitar work there near the end. And so we come to the end of the album which broke New Kids on the Block, and assured they would become a household name.
I can see the differences between this and their debut, just as New Edition distanced themselves from their first album and upped the ante. It's a lot more polished, professional and has some far superior songs on it, though a lot of it sounds to me like it could still have used some work. Well, what do I know? By the end of the year the album had shot to number one, and there was no stopping the new guys!
TRACK LISTING
1. You Got it (The Right Stuff)
2. Please Don't Go Girl
3. I'll Be Loving You (Forever)
4. Cover Girl
5. I Need You
6. Hangin' Tough
7. I Remember When
8. What'cha Gonna Do (About it)?
9. My Favourite Girl
10. Hold on
And that was it. Just like that, the band Columbia had been intending to drop due to poor record sales and thinking they had no future, suddenly became one of their biggest moneyspinners, and Maurice Starr was laughing all the way to the bank. NKOTB had conquered America by 1990, and the rest of the world by the following year. Merchandising contracts followed, and the Kids even had a syndicated cartoon show on TV about them. They were huge business, but it would not last.
Allegations of lip-syncing (eventually withdrawn) hit their fanbase hard, and as the world shifted its focus away from Boybands towards the emergent gangsta rap scene and grunge rock, the Kids (now officially known only as NKOTB) parted company with Starr, and began to write and produce their own albums. These were not as successful as their second and third albums, and interest in NKOTB began to wane. Members left, record sales dipped and finally in 1994, disappointed with reaction to, and sales of their fourth album, the perhaps appropriately titled
Face the Music, they decided to disband altogether.
But as Count Dracula once warned, “You cannot kill what does not live!” and the boys reunited in 2008 for a triumphant comeback album and tour, and Lord help us, they're touring this year even as I write, supporting another Boyband, the Backstreet Boys. So it seems they're baaaaacckkk! Where's me Marillion albums?
So the last album we'll look at here is then, not surprisingly, their comeback album, recorded fourteen years after they had split up.
The Block --- New Kids on the Block --- 2008 (Interscope)
Oh well, apparently they're back to their full name, as the album sleeve attests to. Have they changed their musical style? Are they writing decent songs? Are they, in short, any good after almost a decade and a half in the wilderness? Enquiring minds want to know, so down I go, into the pit of despair. The things I do for you guys...
Well, one thing I notice from the liner notes (okay, okay, Wikipedia!) is that there are a lot of big guest stars on this album, whom we'll get to in due course. I do have to say though that the opener, “Click Click” is a whole lot more mature and professional than anything I've heard from them to date: age does seem to have improved them, or maybe they've just gone full circle. After being the flag-bearers and vanguard for the Boyband movement in the eighties, perhaps they have now looked at the work of some of the “young pretenders” and decided those bands know what they're doing (considering the moolah they're raking in) and followed suit.
From the off, it's a lot less annoying an album than any of the others I've listened to, with restrained, echoey piano and keyboard rather than the stab of the synth that permeated their previous albums, at least the ones with Starr involved. It's a sort of semi-ballad, lots of handclaps and an easy melody. Nice opener. Then we come across the first of the big name involvement, Ne-Yo guests on “Single”, with that annoying updated vocoder vocal that is so prevalent in dance and r&b bands these days. Is it autotune? It might be autotune. Sets my teeth on edge, anyway. The song is relatively restrained though. Not bad so far.
“Big Girl Now” features the flavour of the year, Lady Gaga, but it's a real example of the kind of song I hate, and I find it empty and vacuous. So, normal service resumed then! Oh well, let's not write them off just yet: we're only three tracks in. “Summertime” starts off as a nice laidback ballad, gets a little more animated, but it's pleasant enough, with some busy synth in the background of the melody. Another ballad follows in the shape of “2 in the Morning”, and it's okay, nothing special but hey, it doesn't make me throw up, and that has to be good!
I notice that most of the songs on this are written by members of the band, mostly in fact Donnie Wahlberg, and it's got no less than twelve producers! Overproduced? Maybe. “Grown Man” features the Pussycat Dolls and Teddy Riley (who he?) - starts off with a kind of country rock melody, but with the Dolls on the track it really comes across as one of their songs, possibly a missed opportunity. “Dirty Dancing” comes in on a nice clear piano line which continues through the song, and it works quite nicely against the handclap drumbeats, while the ridiculously titled “Sexify My Love” is just basic throwaway, very forgettable apart from the title, then Timbaland guests on “Twisted”, close to a rock song for part of the track, and not too bad at all, nice orchestration on the strings.
New Edition, of all people, appear on “Full Service”, and Lady Gaga reprises her role, making the song something of a celebration as the two old Boybands meet. Probably like if Zep and Purple guested on the same song. Maybe. Though more likely, probably not. Exuberant feel to the song, at any rate. “Lights Camera Action” sounds like someone's playing that old pop hit “Popcorn” in the background, and has the by-now-standard talking intro, but beneath it's just another boring dance song really.
Akon pops in for “Put it on My Tab”, but as I say, the problem with these guest appearances is that it seems to me that each takes over the song and makes it in their own image, so it's hard to relate it to the Kids Who Are No Longer New on the Block. A case of pulling in stars to bolster up the album, perhaps? I personally feel it detracts from rather than benefits the comeback album, making it difficult to work out whether they've changed or improved at all. Used to be Maurice Starr who controlled them, now ostensibly they control their own music, but they do seem to have handed over a lot of creative control to these guests they have invited to contibute.
At least the closer, “Stare at You” is a decent, very decent ballad, and leaves you with a good tune in your head as you close down your media player and wonder what next for the New Kids?
TRACK LISTING
1. Click Click
2. Single
3. Big Girl Now
4. Summertime
5. 2 in the Morning
6. Grown Man
7. Dirty Dancing
8. Sexify My Love
9. Twisted
10. Full Service
11. Lights, Camera, Action
12. Put it on My Tab
13. Stare at You
And so I return to the dock, watching the ship slide in closer through the early afternoon fog that shrouds the harbour. My first visit to Boybandland is complete. I've learned a lot, and I do have something more of a regard for the bands I've investigated, but I'm not going to be running out and buying a ticket for the NKOTB/BSB concert just yet!
As I look back from the rail of the ship, pulling away now from the dock and heading back out to sea, I ruminate on the beginnings of this thing called a Boyband, and wonder how much blame the bands that came before them have to take for the creation of this beast? After all, without the Jackson 5 or indeed the Osmonds, there might never have been a belief that a band could exist without any instruments, that more than one person could sing and that they should also dance.
I guess we can't blame New Edition or New Kids for being a product of their time, and to be fair, it's more the later, media-saturated bands like Westlife and Take That I have a problem with. And I know I'll be soon listening to their brand of music when I reach the second island in this weird country, and begin to trace the history of the nineties Boybands, particularly those from my own native Ireland.
Until then, I think I'll go belowdecks and review a Venom album or two: got to do something to get that bloody digital piano out of my head!