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SGR · 06-25-2022, 06:56 PM

I've known some people that can't poop if their pets wander into the bathroom - shy poopers I guess. Personally, I've never been a shy pooper - the more, the merrier as far as I'm concerned.

When I was in college, with the communal bathroom, I always liked to play a game with the person who walked in to take a **** in the stall next to me. The game being "Who's louder?". I tell you what, I normally beat out everybody. I can truly let it rip. Like, I know how to pucker up my butthole real tight to maximize the flatulent decibels. You know that move, right? You do that, pucker up nice and good and then cock your left leg up a bit like you're a dog who's about to piss - then you release the gas in a deliberate but measured manner - *PBTHHHH! PBTHHHHHHHHHHH! PBTHUHUHUHU!!! PBTTTTTTTTTH!!!* - the reverberations from the stall will help the sound travel.

But there was this one guy - a French guy - last name was, I **** you not, "Crapeaux". He'd come in, drop his drawers, and he'd let out an explosively loud barrage of smelly ass gas every single ****ing time. I was truly impressed. I've heard men fart before, but once I came into contact with this guy, I realized that up until that point, I'd only heard boys fart. This guy farted like it was going to be last fart he'd ever have on Planet Earth. This guy's farts sounded like a big tractor engine starting up. And god, did they smell. They were horrible! There were times I thought I'd have to delay my **** so that I could direct my face towards the porcelain. They were as deadly as a German Blitzkrieg. I never thought I'd find myself surrendering to a frenchman, but here we are - I never did manage to be louder than he was in the stall. I'll never forget Crapeaux - he was truly a man's man.

I really do wonder what it was that he ate...

06-25-2022, 06:56 PM	#77345 (permalink)
SGR No Ice In My Bourbon Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: /dev/null Posts: 4,326	I've known some people that can't poop if their pets wander into the bathroom - shy poopers I guess. Personally, I've never been a shy pooper - the more, the merrier as far as I'm concerned. When I was in college, with the communal bathroom, I always liked to play a game with the person who walked in to take a **** in the stall next to me. The game being "Who's louder?". I tell you what, I normally beat out everybody. I can truly let it rip. Like, I know how to pucker up my butthole real tight to maximize the flatulent decibels. You know that move, right? You do that, pucker up nice and good and then cock your left leg up a bit like you're a dog who's about to piss - then you release the gas in a deliberate but measured manner - PBTHHHH! PBTHHHHHHHHHHH! PBTHUHUHUHU!!! PBTTTTTTTTTH!!! - the reverberations from the stall will help the sound travel. But there was this one guy - a French guy - last name was, I ** you not, "Crapeaux". He'd come in, drop his drawers, and he'd let out an explosively loud barrage of smelly ass gas every single ing time. I was truly impressed. I've heard men fart before, but once I came into contact with this guy, I realized that up until that point, I'd only heard boys fart. This guy farted like it was going to be last fart he'd ever have on Planet Earth. This guy's farts sounded like a big tractor engine starting up. And god, did they smell. They were horrible! There were times I thought I'd have to delay my ** so that I could direct my face towards the porcelain. They were as deadly as a German Blitzkrieg. I never thought I'd find myself surrendering to a frenchman, but here we are - I never did manage to be louder than he was in the stall. I'll never forget Crapeaux - he was truly a man's man. I really do wonder what it was that he ate...