Case No: THDAMMXXII-VII-V-02/04
Client: Confidential
Casefile:
Who? Mr. Mister
What? “Broken Wings”
Where? America (Phoenix, AZ)
When? 1985
Why? Two good singles, but did they have anything else in the locker other than a clever-ish name?
She's already warned me twice, so I had better do this one quick or they’re gonna be kicking me out. Didn’t realise I’d been here all evening and it’s nearly time for the joint to close up for the night. Not looking forward to the idea of heading back out into that storm, but for now let’s make our way to sunnier climes, to Phoenix Arizona, where a band with the very imaginative name of Mr. Mister once had two major hits, seeming to come out of nowhere. One of them seemed to be a kind of hymn, “Kyrie” using the latin phrase
Kyrie eleison, meaning
lord have mercy, and the band confirmed it is a basic prayer, which explains why it did so well in the US. Couldn’t do any better really: got to number one. But then, so did their other single, and the one I prefer, “Broken Wings”.
Both singles also did well in the UK, though not quite so religious as the US they only pushed “Kyrie” to just outside the top ten at number 11, while “Broken Wings” was certainly a hit, getting to number 4 and staying on the chart for 18 weeks, which is pretty impressive. The album both came from, their sophomore
Welcome to the Real World, did really well too, taking the top spot in the USA and sixth in the UK, going Platinum in the US and
triple Platinum in Canada, while in Britain it achieved Gold status. Either side of this album are failure stories: their debut, 1984’s
I Wear the Face, failed to chart in the US or the UK, while the follow-up to
Welcome to the Real World, 1987’s
Go On… (which they did not) also performed badly, though it did chart, if only barely, reaching 55 in the USA but no chart success at all in the UK. It, too, went Gold, but only in Canada. It was Mr. Mister’s last album.
Oh no wait, it wasn’t. In 2010, after breaking up, their fourth and final album,
Pull (perhaps missing the words “the other one”) was finally released, nearly twenty years after they had begun working on it. Nobody cared: Mr. Mister were by now “that band who had that song” (and nobody meant ****ing “Kyrie” either) and were long, long forgotten. The idea of any sort of resurgence in interest in their music was about as likely as the sun suddenly deciding to let the Earth do the heavy lifting and starting to rotate around our planet. The album charted nowhere and, oddly, was not certified Gold, or even Silver. Imagine.
Seriously though, what is wrong with these people? No less than SEVEN compilation albums put out over a period of twelve years, three in the same ****ing year and two within three months of each other in that year (1999)! All for a band who had, at best, three albums and two hit singles! Talk about the name of the game being riding the gravy train!
Meanwhile, Mr. Mister were not quite so broken, maybe. Richard Page wrote songs for or with Madonna, Meat Loaf, Celine Dion, Chaka Khan and, um, Leona Lewis. I’m going to see if I can find out what they were. Yeah yeah, I know it’s closing time, Mrs. Standish. Keep your wig on. I got bills to pay too you know. Ten more minutes, all right? Okay okay, you win: fifteen. Ah you love me really. Now where was I? Oh yeah: let me just quickly look up these songs wotsisface is supposed to have written, see if I know any. Start off with Madonna. Apparently he wrote a song called “I’ll Remember”, which was a big hit (got to number 2, never heard of it personally) and was from a movie. Okay. Impressive I guess. He didn’t write it, just co-wrote it, but still. Next up they say he worked with the late Meat Loaf. Ah.
Well, I’m not saying he didn’t - maybe we’re talking B-sides of singles, or whatever he wrote wasn’t used - but I’ve checked back as far as the
Bat Out of Hell II album, and no songwriting credit for our Richard. What about Celine? Oh god do I have to? No I don’t. **** her. Chaka Khan? Different story. But nah, I don’t see it, and that old bitc - woman is flashing the goddamn lights again. Let me just check then on bloody Leona Lewis. Nah, let me not. You don’t care about Leona Lewis do ya? Neither do I. Nobody cares about Leona Lewis. Oh hey this is interesting. Seems Page released four solo albums of his own. Let’s see if I can find them. Ah hell with her. She won’t do nothin’: she’s sweet on me. What? No, don’t be disgusting. She’s ninety if she’s a day! Nah, think she sees me as the son she never had or some damn thing.
Hey this is impressive stuff! Guy worked with Streisand too, and Dionne Warwick, as well as Josh Groban, he’s a personal friend of Richard Marx and on Marx’s recommendation got together with Ringo Starr and toured the US and Europe in 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2017 alongside such legends as Edgar Winter, Rick Derringer, Joe Walsh, Jeff Lynne and even McCartney himself. In addition to all this, hey, music must be in his blood: before Mr. Mister he played in a band and also guested on albums by REO Speedwagon, Kenny Loggins, Sammy Hagar, Neil Diamond, Whitesnake, Tupac, Toto (three albums) Motley Crue’s classic
Shout at the Devil and Twisted Sister’s
Stay Hungry, to name but a few. His latest solo album was out in 2015 and he’s been touring, as I said, up to 2017 so he’s obviously keeping busy.
What about his bandmates? Just as impressive. Steve George has written songs for or with Manilow, Marx, Cher and Amy Grant, while the drummer, Pat Mastelotto, has worked with Tina Arena, Martika, The Pointer Sisters and Th Rembrandts. He’s also released a solo album, something to do with King Crimson it seems. And then the boys got together in 2020 to re-record an expanded version of their fourth and final album,
Pull, with three added songs. So I guess they’re all keeping their hand in. Nice.
Result of Case No: THDAMMXXII-VII-V-02/04
Case remains open.
Okay, well Mrs, Standish is giving me
that look, so it’s time to shut down the Latitude and prepare to make my way back out into the cold Dublin night. At least I’ve earned a few bucks, so that scumbag landlord can just take that eviction notice off my door. Can’t wait to see his face when I pay him in full. Almost makes it worth going out into the freezing rain.
Almost.