one time i tried to write an emo song and i felt like a ***got...
yours is too straight forward...try and use more metaphors and i think it could be a little better.
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Lew Harrison, who looked like an anarchist with his red eyes and fierce black beard, had been writing furiously in one corner of the room. "That's good— happiness by the kilowatt," he said. "Buy your happiness the way you buy light."
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