I am officially miserable.
Disclosure - Nothing to do with my marriage. In fact, me not being able to spend time with Dana has been significantly affecting my mental health.
I am busy as f*ck. I have to be. I need to buy a house and get out of my sh*tty apartment. This means six work days a week. This means not being able to take off work without feeling like I'm making the wrong decision. I'm miserable at work. Total crank. I don't want people asking me how my day is going, or how my marriage is going, or what new record I like most. I want people to shut up, leave me alone, buy things or get out. I don't like it but it's automatic at this point. I have been trying to fight it and be personable but it's been hard.
My free time is either me wanting to completely shut the world off and having no energy to do anything, or forcing myself to be social and participate in friends and families lives.
Dana is in the same boat. Busy as f*ck. Stressed as f*ck. She has had it worse with the car accident and everything that goes along with that.
We have had sex three times in the last month.
Luckily we are super communicative and talk about it and we both know what each other is going through. We're just struggling.
I missed therapy last week. I won't be missing it this week. I'm not going back to anti-depressants but I need something to change in my to kick my ass into gear.
I'm eating too much pizza.
F*ck.
Anyway, this is why I've been pretty absent around here for a bit.
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