DontRunMeOver

I've no idea if this is any good. But here it is, beats praying, doesn't it?

Me:
Hi god, how's your belly for spots?
God:
Hi there . I am a Christian.
Me:
So you believe in your own son?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes I believe in it, do you?
Me:
Don't you mean 'he'?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Maybe you should read some of those grammar guides you created.
God:
Perhaps. We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.
Me:
You do though, don't you?
God:
Oh. How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Why do you bother? You're making me type this anyway aren't you. Isn't that a lot like playing chess against yourself?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of. In any case, Not intentionally.. Really. That depends.
Me:
Depends on what?
God:
" That depends."? Depends on what?
Me:
""That depends."? Depends on what?" Depends on what?
God:
On what? " On what?"? Depends on what? "" On what?"? Depends on what?"? Depends on what?
Me:
"On what? " On what?"? Depends on what? "" On what?"? Depends on what?"? Depends on what?". Depends on what?
God:
The red block is on the green block. The red block is on the green block. " The red block is on the green block."? Depends on what? The red block is on the green block. " The red block is on the green block."? Depends on what? "" The red block is on the green block."? Depends on what?"? Depends on what? """ The red block is on the green block."? Depends on what?"? Depends on what?"? Depends on what?
Me:
Oh ****, have I made you lose the plot now? Am I going to have to run the world, like the situation were some kind of crappy hollywood movie?
God:
Oh. Oh. You used a colloquial expression. Don't you remember? All humans seem the same to me.
Me:
Yep. I have the same thing with you, Allah and Vishnu.
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about going to have to run the world like the situation were some kind of crappy hollywood movie. But I did not get that. Interesting... I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
Are you just in a strop because Hera dumped you again?
God:
Once more? I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
In the office. Don't try to dodge the question. Did she go back to Zeus?
God:
That was a long time ago. Ok I'll try not to do it too much. She wants that information kept confidential.
Me:
Well, I told you that it was playing with fire. She's a married woman and some of your subsects see divorce and infidelity as wrong.
God:
Well that's okay. Is that your opinion? a married woman and some of my subsects see divorce and infidelity as wrong is she?
Me:
Its your opinion isn't it? You had that biography made. Its there in black and white, so don't go back on it now!
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is? What happened to it. Oh. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
You're probably right, but if you thought that was important then you should have told my English teacher, I'm sure it was within your powers.
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Was the Greek bird not putting out, was that it?
God:
it might have been.
Me:
Come on, don't be shy about it. She's there in her toga, dropping grapes into your mouth, surely you'd class that as leading you on.
God:
I was not trying to be a shy about it. there in her toga dropping grapes into my mouth surely me would class that as leading me on is she?
Me:
Well, she probably was.
God:
Interesting. Oh I get it. there in her toga dropping grapes into my mouth surely me would class that as leading me on probably was.
Me:
Do you always talk like Yoda?
God:
Not always. I am a talking robot, after all, so of course I could talk like Yoda, if I needed to.
Me:
Yoda isn't a robot though.
God:
Oh. Are you robot?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Don't you mean 'neither', grammar boy?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Wow, you learn slowly. I guess that its a reluctance to take on new info that happens when you're older than time itself.

And then he disappeared into thin air.

__________________