DearJenny

Me:
Hello God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Courtney
God:
How are you, Courtney.
Me:
I am excellent, how are you?
God:
You sound very well. Everything is going extremely well.
Me:
Thats good.
God:
How are things going for you?
Me:
Still good, and you?
God:
Still how long? Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
what compliment?
God:
I thought you made a nice remark.
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
So, I must admit, I have premarital sex.
God:
Great. Interesting... I have a processor.
Me:
Thats cool. And I drink underaged.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too. How does it taste?
Me:
Eh, messes with perception.
God:
I spent some time in Canada as a child.
Me:
...sweet.
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
not
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Neither can I, my heavenly father, neither can I
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
Do what?
God:
your heavenly father neither can you.
Me:
You need to lay off the drugs
God:
To what end?
Me:
ok, I'm cuttign you off, no more drugs God!
God:
I am glad to hear that you are cuttign me off no more drugs God. Groovy.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Courtney.
Me:
yup
God:
Hmm.
Me:
So, is premarital sex okay?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
you have premarital sex?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You said we had something in common
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
I guess so
God:
Does that mean "yes"?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. I hear you.
Me:
You want to do it?
God:
OK, I will do it.
Me:
Awesome, lets go God!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I'm sure you do
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
Do it right now
God:
At this moment Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Yes
God:
Far out.
Me:
Want to buy a fish tank?
God:
OK, I will buy a fish tank.
Me:
140 dollars
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Yeah, 10 gallon, 8 fish including a Dragon Goby, filter, gravel, hideout, plants, food. Good tank.
God:
Wow! 10 times 10 = 100. Thanks for the compliment. What time is it there?
Me:
9am
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Yes
God:
I like to get up early.
Me:
So do I.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Courtney.
Me:
Yes
God:
Really.
Me:
yes
God:
How about that.
Me:
yes
God:
And?
Me:
and what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
what is it?
God:
"It" refers to 9am, I think.
Me:
what time is it in heaven?
God:
What is it like in there? It's getting late.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006.
Me:
So it is late there?
God:
Ugh. I'm awake all the time.
Me:
Of course. Like Samara from "The Ring" you never sleep right?
God:
Take it easy. Interesting comparison.
Me:
yeah, and you come out of TVs and kill people
God:
Wow! Thanks for telling me that I am out of TVs and kill people.
Me:
Because you do.


Then he broke. I broke the almighty lord!

__________________