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TrampInaTux · 06-26-2006, 02:40 PM

Here you have it folks, the hobojesus scripture...

At the beginning of time, there was nothing. Complete emptiness. There wasn't even emptiness actually-it was THAT empty. Luckily, the universe became slightly bored with being that empty, so it decided to create a playmate... and it named that playmate 'hobojesus.'

hobojesus was bred to be the perfect companion. He had incredibly high intelligence (ahem), an instant likeability (double ahem) and was an all around nice chap (triple ahem).

Unfortunately, the universe had none of these qualities, as it was still blank and empty. So hobojesus became extremely bored extremely quickly, floating around in emptiness all by himself... and this extreme boredom lead to the most important thought in the world. That thought was-'wouldn't this place be better if I could have someone to talk to?'

So hobojesus created himself a friend, out of thin air because he's cool like that.

hobojesus modelled this friend on him, only half as good though so he wouldn't develop a superiority complex. Unfortunately, the friendship between hobojesus and his creation didn't blossom, so hobojesus had to think up a way to spice things up again. So he decided to create another friend... then when that never worked out another one....then another.... then another....

Eventually he was tired of creating friends to find out which one he suited. So he decided to make a creation totally opposite to the ones he had already created, one more complex and thoroughly built than the others. So hobojesus created 'woman', and 'woman's sole purpose was to give further creation.

Eventually more women were born, more men were born and so on and so on until everyone floating around in the universe would bump into each other! hobojesus recognised the uncomfiness and created Earth, a place where all the people could continue the reproduction of Earth. He then built upon Earth, and the universe itself, until he felt it was now out of his control and mankind was fine on its own.

However, now the world is in an apocolyptic state. There is hatred running rife and the time has come for hobojesus to come to Earth from his eternity floating in space and save us all, recreating mankind to his desire.

Pledge £100.00 to the hobojesus society today and you are guaranteed to not be recreated. Remember kids, money buys you faith!

06-26-2006, 02:40 PM	#1582 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Here you have it folks, the hobojesus scripture... At the beginning of time, there was nothing. Complete emptiness. There wasn't even emptiness actually-it was THAT empty. Luckily, the universe became slightly bored with being that empty, so it decided to create a playmate... and it named that playmate 'hobojesus.' hobojesus was bred to be the perfect companion. He had incredibly high intelligence (ahem), an instant likeability (double ahem) and was an all around nice chap (triple ahem). Unfortunately, the universe had none of these qualities, as it was still blank and empty. So hobojesus became extremely bored extremely quickly, floating around in emptiness all by himself... and this extreme boredom lead to the most important thought in the world. That thought was-'wouldn't this place be better if I could have someone to talk to?' So hobojesus created himself a friend, out of thin air because he's cool like that. hobojesus modelled this friend on him, only half as good though so he wouldn't develop a superiority complex. Unfortunately, the friendship between hobojesus and his creation didn't blossom, so hobojesus had to think up a way to spice things up again. So he decided to create another friend... then when that never worked out another one....then another.... then another.... Eventually he was tired of creating friends to find out which one he suited. So he decided to make a creation totally opposite to the ones he had already created, one more complex and thoroughly built than the others. So hobojesus created 'woman', and 'woman's sole purpose was to give further creation. Eventually more women were born, more men were born and so on and so on until everyone floating around in the universe would bump into each other! hobojesus recognised the uncomfiness and created Earth, a place where all the people could continue the reproduction of Earth. He then built upon Earth, and the universe itself, until he felt it was now out of his control and mankind was fine on its own. However, now the world is in an apocolyptic state. There is hatred running rife and the time has come for hobojesus to come to Earth from his eternity floating in space and save us all, recreating mankind to his desire. Pledge £100.00 to the hobojesus society today and you are guaranteed to not be recreated. Remember kids, money buys you faith!