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Raine · 07-20-2006, 11:15 AM

I think I've finally reached (yet again) that stage in my life where I'm not so sure of things anymore.
I have the urge to quit my job, go back to philly and just lay around all day doing whatever.
I have the urge to transfer to that creative arts school I wanted to go to when If irst had to choose high schools. Granted two serious setbacks abuot going to that particular school and why I decided not to go to that school are because I have no real desire to be judged or graded on my art and because it doesn't figure in in any way with what I want to make a career out of, which doesn't matter too much now since I'm also starting to rethink my career goals.
I think part of the reason I want to quit my job (or rather one of the big reasons) is because I really don't want to work that close to family, or be identified because of the family business. It's all just so wierd. And it's really starting to take it's toll on me anyhow. And not to mention it gives my family too much control over my life.
I recently had a talk with my cousin and she stated talking about guys and one thing lead to another, and I told her that my "relationship is satisfactory"
Which is true it is. Although I guess that wasn't the answer she was expecting to hear.
So in essence, today, I went to work, left work early and now I'm home trying to figure out how the hell I got to this point in my life.
I took down every Ocean and Isis poter (which amounts to 8 posters) and replaced them with posters of The Spice Girls, Keanu Reeves, Mark Wahlberg, Rise Against, and Cursive. I bought some sorta geranium and put it on the windowsill. I bought a Jet Li figurine and I have no clue where to put that. I went to Victoria's Secret to buy some shirts or rather some lingerie that I will make into shirts and that's about it.
I figure a change of wardrobe, scenery, and such might do me some good. And I'm working on a collage to Big Pun. Sounds kinda funny i know but i had the urge to do something like that and I just happened to have been listening to Big pun at the time and so it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh and I dyed my hair red. It's all red. A few pruple/blue streaks as well. And I bought a pair of orange pants.
And now I feel like a new person, although a lot of the same insecurites are there. . . .
Can't say I don't try

07-20-2006, 11:15 AM	#2342 (permalink)
Raine Full-Time Hellion Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: PA Posts: 1,531	I think I've finally reached (yet again) that stage in my life where I'm not so sure of things anymore. I have the urge to quit my job, go back to philly and just lay around all day doing whatever. I have the urge to transfer to that creative arts school I wanted to go to when If irst had to choose high schools. Granted two serious setbacks abuot going to that particular school and why I decided not to go to that school are because I have no real desire to be judged or graded on my art and because it doesn't figure in in any way with what I want to make a career out of, which doesn't matter too much now since I'm also starting to rethink my career goals. I think part of the reason I want to quit my job (or rather one of the big reasons) is because I really don't want to work that close to family, or be identified because of the family business. It's all just so wierd. And it's really starting to take it's toll on me anyhow. And not to mention it gives my family too much control over my life. I recently had a talk with my cousin and she stated talking about guys and one thing lead to another, and I told her that my "relationship is satisfactory" Which is true it is. Although I guess that wasn't the answer she was expecting to hear. So in essence, today, I went to work, left work early and now I'm home trying to figure out how the hell I got to this point in my life. I took down every Ocean and Isis poter (which amounts to 8 posters) and replaced them with posters of The Spice Girls, Keanu Reeves, Mark Wahlberg, Rise Against, and Cursive. I bought some sorta geranium and put it on the windowsill. I bought a Jet Li figurine and I have no clue where to put that. I went to Victoria's Secret to buy some shirts or rather some lingerie that I will make into shirts and that's about it. I figure a change of wardrobe, scenery, and such might do me some good. And I'm working on a collage to Big Pun. Sounds kinda funny i know but i had the urge to do something like that and I just happened to have been listening to Big pun at the time and so it seemed like a good idea at the time. Oh and I dyed my hair red. It's all red. A few pruple/blue streaks as well. And I bought a pair of orange pants. And now I feel like a new person, although a lot of the same insecurites are there. . . . Can't say I don't try __________________ A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche