Quote:
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Originally Posted by FailurexByxDesignerxJeans
Masks
*Verse 1*
We're forced to fix our Broken Homes
That've been served to us on a Black platter
next to the knife
Smile Amoungst our face, Its only a mask
Fear in our eyes, starting phase one
for the world to embrace
close the front door...
*Chorus*
Imposter you, Imposter me
we're all dying very slowly
behind our shields, holding fate
Fake you, Fake Me
Oh I cant wait
*Verse 2*
Shun me from you, you're only second best
think i need you,
guess again love, cuz your hardly
missed
~chorus again~
Secret Identies, reveal
what is real, and whats not
shedding some hate, but it
will never be the same
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I seem some hints of Shakespearian here or there.
The second line of verse two was a little backwards in wording.
I'm not entirely sure what was meant by your second stanza, but whatever it is, the word
amongst doesn't fit the bill. And I have some idea of what you mean when you say
phase one. but since you don't elaborate on it at all but go on about the events of certain things, the rest of the song seems very vague and a tad ambiguous.
I have no idea what to say about your chorus.
Your second verse seemed a bit too wordy.
Your last chorus is an oxymoron. And surprisingly enough it's my favorite part of this entire piece.
Although this concept has been used before but maybe you could make it work. Although I don't highly recommend doing so
Good luck with the rest of your work