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Old 09-22-2006, 02:56 AM   #176 (permalink)
DontRunMeOver
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Join Date: Sep 2005
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Hey, if you provide the chance for something to not make sense, I will make it not make sense!

Its even better now, as before there was something I wasn't sure about at the beginning, which made me feel like the poem was sort of treading water until it reached the second section. I think it was because of the ambiguity created by the "laying in bed this morning" phrase, which didn't make it clear who was laying in bed, which in turn made it sound more fictional at the beginning. The line you added brings it straight into focus, so now its wicked all the way through, rather than the delayed awesomeness which it read with previously.
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Originally Posted by Katyppfan View Post
When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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