I really like it; it's something people don't generally think about when they dream of being a superhero. I picture HORSE the Band singing it. And that's a good thing.
However, I think you could work on your grammar and punctuation. For example:
Quote:
"These bills get me down" he groans
As he flies toward the centre of the pacific
To stem yet another horrific
Earthquake, stopping it from rending the globe
He forms a humanoid bore,
A makeshift drillbit
To penetrate the very core of the earth
To vent the pressure, to avert the disaster
A tectonic event for his platonic love of humankind
He forces a tunnel
|
"These bills get me down," he groans
as he flies toward the centre of the Pacific
to stem yet another horrific
earthquake; to stop it from rending the globe
he forms a humanoid bore,
a makeshift drillbit
to penetrate the very core of the earth;
to vent the pressure; to avert the disaster --
a tectonic event for his platonic love of humankind --
he forces a tunnel.
Or, if you prefer, you could break it down into several sentences. I often get carried away with my semi-colons.
