either/or

Well I wrote and I studied
Read graves across the land
I sat inside my pen
And wrote lies across my hand
But for every towering city
Theres a broken lonesome town
I’ve fallen down again
I think it’s time to stay down

I fell into a river
To see if it was true
And I sat inside a cage
Sniffing cyonide and glue
But for every proud king
There was a cracked and broken crown

I lay in the dark
To try and catch the light
But for every hundred wrongs
There never was a right
I bargained with the devil
Selling hatred by the pound

I heard too many stories
From a broken tongue
It told me it took a life
From god’s golden lung
And in his final breath
A long and lonesome sound
He said he’d fallen down once too much
And it was time to stay down

I came across the rubble
The dirt and the remains
A generation of bodies
Dragging their dead brains
A nation who’s head
Is stuck firmly in the ground

One night I stared
Into hated eyes
I shot disease into my pain
And starred at splitting skies
From every cracking cloud
Spewed rain as thick as sand
I’ve fallen down once too much
I don’t think I’ll ever stand


Swapping blood with a s snake
I gave up my brain
He whispered in my ear
That I would never be the same
And nothing that I ever built
Came out as I had planned

I know what they whisper
About all that I owe them
They saw through all the bull****
And they saw through the self loathing
For everything you drop
They will never lend a hand

I cut corners to stay awake
To not let my guard slip
If one more bright light bumps me
My brain is certain it will flip
But I dropped all my answers
through a hole in my hand

So I buried my head
Into someones heart
Shook myself and promised
To take it from the start
But for every night
When she is not around
I think that I will fall
And wait till I can stand

__________________
Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation