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Old 10-31-2006, 07:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
The Dave
Me and The Major
 
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 1,830
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Free from the hassle eternally
^should change that to eternal hassle

Think about your future, your job they say
^That should be changed to flow better with the line above it

And the last paragraph doesn't flow well at all. I like the message you're trying to get across, the language is just butchered.
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