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Old 10-31-2006, 03:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
sleepy jack
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 18,969
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This is one of my favorite pieces i've read about you, i'm pretty sure its my favorite i've read by you recently along with the one for you girlfriend.

"A candle is alight, somewhere in my brain and it's melting away next to broken dreams" I reallyreally liked that line.

"the boy is now the girl and this girl is afraid"

Maybe change it to "the boy is now the girl and this lady is afraid"? It would be less repetitive.
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Originally Posted by METALLICA89 View Post
Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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