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Old 11-11-2006, 03:29 AM   #3 (permalink)
ZeppelinAir
Long time no see
 
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: somewhere in Michigan
Posts: 512
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
Its infected just like a black widows bites,
A bite that kills your mind,

You use bites, then use it again describing what it does, bites in this case. I just think it looks cheesy, maybe try "Its infected like a black widows bite killing your mind" or something?
your right that does sound better, i'll make the change
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