I Learn in the Dark

I'm struggling without the light,
I can't see your face as you cry,
But I hear you sobbing and scream,
Where are you? What's the matter?
You hesitate for a moment and you,
Realize it's only me. But my voice makes it worse,
I shake you until your head snaps back,
Like some forlorn tree in a whipping wind.
I ask you again, Can you whisper an answer through your,
Personal waterfall? Can you please?
You tell me the monsters are taking you tonight.
I crush your shoulders as you begin to weep.
What do you mean the monsters?
The monsters that you see when you're asleep?

But I cannot help you now,
As you shake and tremble in the night,
I told you I could save you from anything.
You are proving me wrong with every shallow breath.

I kiss your mouth and hope to ease your pain.
But baby, I can't help you unless you,
Unless you wake up from these dreams.
And although you talk in your sleep,
I can hear you and you're whispering my name.
These monsters, I ask, what are they doing.
She clutches her chest in her sleep and,
I hold her closer than ever, but she,
Pushes me away and her face shatters,
Into a spasm of muscles and she,
Shouts prayers up to the ceiling.

But I cannot help you now,
As you shake and tremble in the night,
I told you I could save you from anything.
You are proving me wrong with every shallow breath.

These monsters I start to scream,
These monsters what are they doing to you?
She clutches her chest like before and,
Pounds out a heartbeat that grows faster,
And faster until her nails stab at her skin,
She digs them in and the blood flows freely,
On our bed. Why doesn't she wake up now?
She is convulsing and finally she rests
Still like cooling cadavers on marble blocks,
Are the monsters gone? What have they done to you?
Her hands pat out the slow heart beat until it stops.
Her eyes snap open and she looks at me.
Her fear wandering like lost children in a broken city.

I can help you now,
You've been shaking and trembling all night,
Now I can save you from everything,
But you are proving me wrong with a frightened stare.

What's wrong, I whisper into the darkness,
It reaches your ear like a dying horse's last breath,
Your face crumbles into your hands as you,
Attempt to move your cracked lips,
Two deserts part as you spew sand,
What have these monsters done to you?
Darling she says, with difficulty and strain.
Darling, I just had a dream about you.
Well, I'm ok now, I say. It's just a dream.
But she is not ok, she stares at me in horror.
Her hands pats out a heartbeat on her red chest.
It slows to a stop and she inhales sharply.
I look at my hands and see skin under my fingernails.

I cannot save you...
For I...
I am the monster.