My heart cries
Mentioning heart ever is tricky business and isn't easy to not sound stupid when using it.
Every passing day it dies alittle more
Not only is it jumpy it's cliche. Shallow and more or less meaningless.
The scars that won't heal
Again jumpy no flow. This is all very vague.
The lonlieness is forever more
Again very shallow, generic. Means nothing to me. Describe something!
She left with my heart
Cheesy.
Destined to never return
Cheesier.
She said those famous last words
That still haunts my memory
Every tear that I cry reminds me of how much rejection hurts
I wish I can find a way out of this four walled world
Rejections cold, love hurts
It's the story of my life
And the haunting reality
Life is un fair and to difficult to figure out
The once heart of gold, tarnished by heart break
People say soul mates are hard to come by
The one's that find them are treated with eternal happiness
For the rest of us
All we're left with is
A heart full of thorns and an eye full of tears.
I could pick apart the rest but the thing is I'd just say it lacks flow and it's generic. Isn't the point of doing anything to make something different? So try to think of something you've never heard before and describe that. Those are good poems.
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