ItsRed

I've made several attempts at a reply to this, but they keep getting jumbled and confused. I think the main reason they do is because there's the one side of me that feels there's this hope in the work to have the speed of your environment at the same rate as your mind in the hopes everything might clear up and focus in a pure/ honest desirable way, be attainable.

Then there's this other side that feels that instead, you're desiring a blur through drinks, or speed so that there is nothing to focus on and there will be comfort in removing all expectations even being able to focus.

Which reminds me of the Lermontov quote used by Tolstoy in 'Family Happiness.'
(From memory)

He in his madness prays for storms
and hopes that storms will bring him peace.

And then there's another part that doesn't think it's either in a real solid way so trying to peg it is just a producing a long rambling response that goes nowhere. And it's unnecessary to feel what's going on.


Also just the mention of effervescence brought to mind a complex idea of multiple impingement in a single visual field (or any sensory input) creating a weirdo somatic effect of dissolving that I could probably write a 20 page thesis on.

This response could get long, so I'm just going to quote the first and last line for the block I'm responding to.

There are some really great word choices right from the start. 'Pumpkin' and 'Midnight', signify that a disillusionment of fantasy is taking place. And with the tango being such an intimate dance it also shows there is this desire to have a closeness, to be connected to something.


Of course you're off to Margaritaville, where the fuck else is there??

This stanza sound like an actual memory (makes it sound very real as an experience) and it also begins this disorientating fast mental state where something's got to give, either ****s going to slow down in the head, or the body's going to need to move faster. I also find it funny with the drink and 'I'm from a seaside town.' Good one.

From this I got this great image of the tear being like a convex mirror reflecting a distorted fish-eye-lens like contorted laughter. And like I said earlier, 'effervescent' and the fact you pull out a detail like the tear.... A 20 pg. thesis might cover it.
I interpret 'God's song', as an internal somatic feeling, the body is singing with blood flowing through veins, a million tiny calories going super-nova inside. Is it meant for something specific? Or maybe something like music of chance?

Here's what seems the building and arrival of the climatic episode, The lights come up ... my head can't decelerate...I want to drive the car like a rocket...soaring...bonfire, then the realization none of it, not even close is going to be available.

There's a few lines from Faust that I learnt by heart from maybe ten years ago that came to mind reading this, (from memory; translations may vary).

Yet each day I awake
with bitter tears to look upon the sun
for knowing of my longings he will make
none of them come true, not one.


Well, I'm going to have to finish this off a little later my brain is starting to shut off, of course I have to mention these lines really struck me.

The last part, the big letdown, the trading in your angel wings for the Kafka-esque hell of normalcy, should have some attention.

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