theusedtoolguy, stop being such a tool, honestly, if you're going to go out of your way to insult members, at least make it relevant to the thread topic and not be so much of a bullsh*t waste of space post as the one you posted.
theraconteur21, props on cleaning up the spelling and grammer, this way it's not distracting and people can concentrate on the actual poem. Is IS VERY important to do this, because if you can't even take the time to make your poems and songs follow propper gramatical structure, none of us are going to want to take the time to critique it. As for the poem itself, there's some continuity issues here. What I mean by that, is that you've used a lot of different metaphors and analogies, so the point ends up being muddled in all of this. Simplify it by finding one analogy for the ENTIRE song.
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What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways
Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.
HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER
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